Will I Ever

“Does it feel like ya, You’re never gonna find it, Does it feel like ya, Always one step behind it, Does it feel like ya, Out in this world alone ’cause you been lookin and prayin for love so long, Does it feel like ya, Wishing on a falling star
Does it feel like ya, Lonely and it breaks your heart, ‘Cause it feels like ya, Ready to let down your guard, Finding somebody’s just so hard”
Lyfe Jennings

I have a strong heart to give love, but I feel like my pheromones aren’t strong enough for the opposite sex to detect.

For example: I decided to give blood on Thursday. I walk through the mobile blood bus and I see Michael Ealy aka the phlebotomist R. The saliva literally dried on my tongue when I saw him. He was tall, with broad shoulders, and southern hospitality. He immediately greeted me when I walked through the bus. He had the greatest smile: all straight, white teeth. Then his eyes were green with flecks of hazel. *sigh*… *sigh*. Not only did R screen me, but he took my blood. He was so attentive. Asking me how I’m doing; making sure that even though he was taking a lot of time, I knew where he was around the bus. So HOT! Then while he prepared the bag and the needle he asked me where I was from (Oakland, CA!)… “Home of my favorite football team” (R), “The Raiders?… SHUT UP” (L). Of course we talk about the 2010 draft picks, the disappoints, and the hope for a come back. Oh yea hunny, I may not know about sports, but I know about the Raiders!

Even when he was working on other donors he would look over at me… of course he caught me staring a few times. It was either stare at him or stare at the wall. I mean I would fixate on the wall for a few squeezes and then the sounds of his voice would capture my attention. In the end though, no dice. I leave the bus with nothing more than sparkly daydreams.

One of my coworkers said: “You want a man who chases you to like him, not a man you like to chase”. It makes sense.

Then I went to happy hour that night at Induj. It was lovely. I think that place is so awesome. Live music, great drinks, hot men (depending on what night you go lol). I always get the table by the window. If I had a “spot” that would be it.

Anyway, at Indulj there was another sexy man… Not my Michael Ealy, but a cutie nonetheless. He was tall, hippie-esq, with a funky goatee. He wore a button-down, black pants, and black shoes… Can you say homeboy had a job? Holla!

Anyhoo… I actually tried with this one… purposely catching his eye; smiling in his direction… Ya know flirting! No FREAKIN’ Dice!

Which brings me back to the whole point of the Summer Boo Challenge… If things had gone as planned I would have been on 5 dates by now. But it’s the end of July and I have not one date in sight. D is a lost cause… Ol’Boy hasn’t called me back and I’m not even sure I want him to; now it’s past awkward and is just irritating.

I haven’t heard back from the other 12 people who I asked to participate. I’ve already sent a reminder. The original plan was to only ask 5 people… but then when 3 of those 5 turned out to be non-responders… well I had to invite other people to the challenge.

In truth, there’s only so much I can ask of other people, and if it’s not going to happen, it’s not going to happen. Even more, the Summer Boo Challenge can’t turn into the Fall Boo Challenge/ the Winter Boo Challenge. I didn’t email the editor of Essence. Honestly you can’t suggest a blog about the challenge to the Editor when you have nothing to write about. So Disappointing!

I can’t help asking myself (even though I have faith)… Will it happen? Will I ever?

Until then, I’ll just continue on this journey to be a much more interesting person 😀


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