“I had enough heartache and enough headaches, I’ve had so many ups and downs, Don’t know how much more i can take, See i decided that i cried my last tear yesterday, Either i’m going to trust you or i may as well walk away
’cause stressing don’t make it better, Don’t make it better, no way. See i decided that i cried my last tear yesterday
Yesterday, i decided to put my trust in you, Yesterday, i realized that you will bring me through. There ain’t nothing to hard for my God, no. Any problems that i have, He’s greater than them all, so I decided that i cried my last tear yesterday” Mary Mary

2 Kings 18: 5-7a:   Hezekiah trusted in the Lord, the God of Israel. There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before or after his time.  He remained faithful to the Lord in everything, and he carefully obeyed all the commands the Lord had given Moses.  So the Lord was with him, and Hezekiah was successful in everything he did.
Joshua 1: 8: Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

Yesterday I thought I had a great day. I woke up before 7am. Crawled out of bed. I was able to get to work by 8:15, even with the deadlock traffic. I had a semi-productive day. I went to the gym and worked out for 2 hours. Then I went to church.

Well as I entered the church parking lot, Mary Mary’s Yesterday came on the radio. It’s safe to say that I broke down… I was crying in the car and singing along. I don’t even know why, but the song was exactly what I needed.

I really didn’t understand all this emotion until after the sermon. We’re in the middle of this It’s Complicated series. The series has taken a juncture in the right direction discussing Biblical Man/Woman-hood. Pastor Phillips was discussing Qualities of a Godly Man in last night’s sermon. No offense to Pastor P, but I feel like the qualities that he outlined defined where I lack most evidently in my Christian walk.

1) Knowledge and obedience to God: he discussed the idea of success and how it’s outlined in the Bible. Success and prosperity are not measured by outcome; they are measured through obedience. There are three questions to ask yourself if you are meeting the mark: a) obedience to God b) empowered by God ( seeking scripture and enlisting prayer before making any decision) c) doing things for the glory of God. In these areas I’m failing miserably, and I know it!

One thing that Pastor P stated was that the first step to obedience is to adjust your life to scripture instead of adjusting scripture to fit your life. I have been very selfish lately: in my time, in my finances, in my thoughts. I’m keeping all of these areas closed off to God… not purposely but because I’ve locked that closet and I’m searching for the key.

What am I doing with what I’ve learned so far? Am I applying these lessons; these sermons; the passing of the Holy Spirit in me? Am I wasting the talents that God has stored in me? Not just talents that I’ve acquired but innate talents that have laid dormant until I was saved in 2006? We are desperate for a generation who adjusts their lives to scripture and lives for Christ. Honestly, it’s time to start over. I can’t tell you where the fire has gone or why I’ve willing let things slip away… but it’s time to bring it back. Every action in our life is redemptive to make us more like Christ. My Lord, My Savior, the light of my life: Thank you for bringing me out of darkness.

I have three things that I’m going to be working on in the coming weeks: 1) speaking scripture in everyday life. I need to have devotion every day. I want to join a Bible Study or start one with my LS’s.  2) Meditate on the truth of God throughout the day. I need to read the Bible more. The answers are there but I’ve been too lazy to find them. I had a plan of how I was going to get through the Bible and I never followed through. Unacceptable! And my prayer life? That needs to get in order. Post-haste! 3) Keep God’s commandments and apply then rightly to my life.  umm duh? and yet I haven’t done it. My errant thoughts often hinder God’s voice from coming through. I need to have a snapping turtle’s hold on God’s Word; allow him to whisper to me as I walk through this journey; be silent and still so that He can shine when I’m dull.

Allow me to be more like you Jesus. ‘Cuz if you ask me I’m ready…

P.S. If you looked up gorgeous in the dictionary, you’d see me. *sigh* I wish you could see the shoes…


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