S.O.S./ Message in a Bottle

“Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh. Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh. More loneliness than any man could bear, Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh. I send an SOS to the world. I send an SOS to the world. I hope that someone gets my, I hope that some one gets my, I hope that someone gets my, message in a bottle.” John Mayer Remake

I feel a little down lately… like Picasso in his blue period. I have no idea why! Things are going amazingly well in my life. I’m slowly but surely getting out of debt; I was recently recognized at my job for a project that I completed; I got a computer and internet at the house; my Dad visited recently; I saw L and J and their family in TN; I’ve been getting to work early every day and not falling asleep at my desk. Honestly, things are looking up!

Partly, I think that I’ve been spending way too much time alone. I’m intimately aware of every cavern of my 550 sq. foot apartment. I watch Jersey Shore for amusement. I’ve cooked every recipe in my cook book. Umm, I think it’s time to get a life.

In truth, I miss my family. At least in AZ, there’s always a child or a sibling that needs attention. And then there’s the fact that I miss Bubba and Tabby Cat terribly! I wish they lived closer. Those two are such an integral part of my life.

Lastly, I would like to go on a DATE! OMG I mean is something wrong with me? Just ask me out… MERCY!

I sit and listen to Coltrane, Davis, Byard, Holiday, James, Fitzgerald, Washington, Gillespie, Parker, Adele, Duffy, Jones… just trying to make sense of my life. It’s like they understand me, dig?

I’m trying to make improvements. I joined a softball league through my church. I play catcher. Today (9/15) I actually made contact with the ball and ran to first. Well the ball went straight to the pitcher and I was tagged out, but I made it contact! I really like the coach of the softball league. She’s really nice. She plays softball exceedingly well. The other two semi-coach-esq guys on the team are nice also. Everyone else can be through in the pot to make a good soup, but I’m not sure if we mesh individually. I like the pitchers on my team D, P, S. They just have a relaxed attitude about them.

Sometimes I feel like I’m holding the team back. I know I can’t hit the ball every time. I know that I rarely catch the ball. But I sincerely try to be a good player. Being sporty doesn’t come naturally to me. But I try. I want to be good. I want to be a part of the team. I want to play with as much skill as I have passion. But I’m actually a glorified ‘soccer mom’: All compassion, no talent. 

I’ve reached a new low in my life. I flirt non stop with my IT guy in MN. It’s really sad, but every time we talk it always gets semi-personal and semi naughty. But I like it. And I like him. When we talk on the phone he says “Hey Lady”. I always sigh a little when he says that. And he makes fun of me… hard. Like every other sentence is a disparaging comment in a flippant tone. It’s nice… refreshing… relaxed. Even cuter? He typed “Hey there no no” to get my attention on IM today; which is a play on the last syllable of my last name. Isn’t that original? I’ve never had that!

We exchanged pictures today when he said he might quit! I begged him not to because after all who would answer all my deranged IT requests if not him? I think I quoted the Titanic. I also became Shakespeare’s Juliet (Scene II in the Orchard). And then we exchanged pictures. I picked a really good one… The picture from “Come Away With Me”… that one is nice. Well he said “cute” but that could mean I’m also the Freddie from Elm Street. I mean honestly who knows? It’s the bloody internet.

Someone throw me a life line! This feeling of dejection… of being alone in a crowded room… it’s stifling.

Well since I”m feeling blue, I decided to add some pictures that I think are red HOT. These are some of my favorite pictures I’ve ever taken. Two from the same night… That was a really good night. I miss TTFN! OMG!

Well I leave you with this: “Good night, good night! as sweet repost and rest Come to thy heart as that within my breast.” (Scene II Orchard).


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