Could You…

“Could you be my sunshine, On a cloudy day? Could you be my yellow, When I’m feeling gray? Could you be my river, And help me float away? Could you be my sunshine, On a cloudy day?” Daniel Merriweather

 It’s so weird how my subconscious is working against me. I don’t second glance (a lot), size up, or flirt with guys. I keep my distance and I hope that they will also. But then I have the most vivid dreams…. Dreams of men in various passing moments. Reliving memories of relationships past and fantasizing about relationships to come.

It’s just not fair! I feel like a man with my third eye controlling my thoughts…

Especially today at TJ’s. One of the guys that works there AB suggestively flirts with me (and truthfully every XX chromosome being) during working hours. Normally I combat or ignore his antics. BUT TODAY, he starts rubbing my shoulders, my neck, my back and I’m literally melting and pushing him away at the same time. Physical Touch is my love language and since I’ve denied and deprived myself from said communications for ####years, his touch fried my senses like an egg on the sidewalk.

WHY BABY JESUS!?! WHY?!?

I think I try very hard to be good… to not unleash the hedonist harlot that comprises a major portion of my personality. I’m so GGG it’s illegal. But I digress…

I really think men should stay away from me in this point in time. I’d rather turn their innards into Christmas Ornaments…

Is something wrong with me?

Even worse I’m so tired of talking about love and relationships. I didn’t go through years at Georgetown to  constantly talk about the dynamics of men and women whose status is either single, married, or it’s complicated. Take that crap to Facebook and leave my starving mind alone.

And yet I can’t control my dreams.

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