Gonna Get Over You

“I’ve got a thick tongue, Brimming with the words that go unsung, I simmer then I burn for someone, The wrong one. And I tell myself to let the story end, That my heart will rest in someone else’s hand. But my ‘Why not me?’ philosophy began, And I said… Oh, I wish you’d want me to stay, I’ll be alright, just not tonight, But someday.” Sara Bareilles

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. — Helen Keller

It’s funny how many find out about the boy you like. It’s that top-secret information that you can’t keep to yourself. They may not know his name or even how you met… but they know that someone exists, even if for a moment.

And then it ends, and you’re left with a handful of password protected posts documenting a moment in time that can’t be recaptured. Like shards of glass from the broken mirror, I’m left with a million pieces to pick up and seven years of bad luck to haunt my memories.

How do you then go about telling everyone the end of the story before it even had a substantial beginning? It’s so awkward when one of your female friends comes up to you and says: “So L, you have to tell me, how is that guy?” (Internal monologue: play dumb, smile broadly, don’t make direct eye contact).

“I’m sorry… what guy?”

“Hahahaha, don’t be funny… you know the one… from Ihop? The GUY!”

(Internal monologue: Oh Lord have mercy, how many people did I tell? How often did I open my mouth? What does she know and was I the one who told her?)

“Oh *blink, blink* that guy. He’s fine…we’re just friends.”

“Aww…no! Man, well some great relationships start off as friends.”

(Internal monologue: the man has to be attracted to you for the friendship to develop into anything.)

But then you see him, talk to him, text him, email him…everyday. Sometime you initiate, sometimes you wait in anxious anticipation for the tiny chime of acknowledgement. And then you get angry!

Why the hell is this dude in my face… and why do I like him there?

Do you ever wonder why some people are just your friends and why others fall in love with you? What distinguishes one from another? What makes a person loveable?

And then overall, what makes some men notice you and others ignore you?

I guess this is my 2 week notice to let others know that the past three months were a whirlwind, but all things must come to an end.  I have to stop looking at this close door of elusive happiness and move to the welcomed arms of somebody who loves me.

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