The New Workout Plan

That’s right, put in work, Move your ass, go wizzerk, Eat your salad, no dessert, Get that man you deserve (Stop!), It’s Kanye’s workout plan (Ok bring), I said it’s Kanye’s workout plan (I know y’all ain’t tired), It’s Kanye’s workout plan (But I hope not, ‘cuz on this one I need ya), His woooorrrrkkoouut plan—Kanye West

My new jogging buddy and I commented that out renewed vigor to work out and push farther is driven by the desire for a stripper’s body (flat stomach, toned parts, definition). As much as I want to be a video vixen, I know its all talk. I won’t be dangling from a pole any time soon. I may be fascinated with exotic dancers but I won’t be one anytime soon.

I’m working so hard to join the Navy. You know see the world, join the Navy? Yea, that’s the plan. Clearly though I have to be fit enough to make it through basic training.

I started running; well jogging—okay stutter stepping, whatever. I am aiming for at least 10 miles a week, not including other activities. On the treadmill I’ve gotten to a 12minute mile. Huge leap, but I hate running without direction. So I switched to outside. It took me a while to develop a comfortable rhythm I could maintain throughout the miles. I’ve finally gotten to a 15-16 minute mile depending on how I feel (and the route). Coming from a girl who failed P.E. in high school, this is a miracle. I realize that around mile three my pace picks up. I can run faster, longer; I don’t even think about the destination. This is the euphoria I’ve been waiting for.

In addition to the jog, I also do Hot Yoga two times a week. Love it! My flexibility has improved, breathing improved, endurance improved—and I’ve trimmed my parts. Because Bikram is strength training and definition building, it really does show results. I credit the yoga for even motivating me to jog. So it’s great in my book.

I also lift two times a week. This is my area of weakness.  As much as I love (insert sarcasm here) cardio, I still want to be strong and cut. Plus lifting burns more fat by turning the flab into muscle, so there’s that. But sometimes I don’t wanna (insert whine here).

I cant lie and say there aren’t bad days. Days when I want to eat pizza and cheetos, develop a new goal around being a woman sumo wrestler. I mean this ish is hard. I gave up meat two years ago. And then in January I gave up bread, sweets, cheese—you know basically anything that tastes delicious. Let’s be honest, every once and a while I eat some feta or dark chocolate, but in general I’ve stuck to this lifestyle change—and discovered some interesting ways to eat vegetables.

You would think there would be all these dramatic changes, right? The weight falling off with every drop of sweat… Yea, no. I’m still the same dress size I was in high school. It seems like the weight just shifts around, more to my breasts, less to my butt. Oh, the chagrin. For the first time in months I’ve seen some pound loss reflected on the scale. And I accept that. Accept that I may never have a flat stomach. Still, I can’t stop, won’t stop Rocka— I mean trying.

Keep me encouraged, okay?

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