Who Will Love Me in Winter

Delusions of grandeur, Misled my adventurous spirit, Love of the unknown rose like a stone, Above my contentment, The autumn leaves fall from the trees, And hold me captive with a dance in the air, I know with the passing of these, I must find love from somewhere—Van Hunt

As quickly as lust bubbles up it starts to fade. I’m no longer his desired, he’s no longer my muse.

“Two texts in a 48 hour time span that go unanswered, you have to move on”

Rules: dating ethics to be followed. Strict unwritten code, mutually understood. Unspoken hints carved as code. He’s just not that into you.

Of course the ones you tell analyze your actions, where you went wrong, how you “ruined” the potential before it was a possibility.

“3 little birds pitch by my doorstep and told me I would be in Baltimore this weekend… Actually I’m afraid of birds so I’d run if they got near me, but anyway you wanna go to brunch this Sunday?”

Sometimes you can hang out on a limb until you’re rescued, planted safely on the ground, equilibrium restored. Other times your weight on the branch is too much, too soon, and it breaks, then you land on something softer than your feet, the docking a little more painful.

“You didn’t dangle the carrot, JL. You never just dangle the carrot—no you proceed to puree the carrot and force feed it.”

Why is so complicated to say you like someone? That you’d like to get to know then better? To find out if two seemingly separate elements can meld together and find their place on the periodic table?

Isn’t that what we look for? A couple of once-in-a-whiles to break up large expanses of time? Precious particles coming together if only temporarily creating chemistry before the side effects are discovered?

A magic trick after so many demonstrations loses its luster, but that first time, when wonder overwhelms logic; common sense distracted by shiny sparks. For an instance you believe Fantasia has come to life.

Wake up silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.


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