I’m the Greatest Star

I’m the greatest star, I am by far but no one knows it! That’s why I was born, I blow my horn, Till someone blows it, I’ll light up like a light, Right up like a light, I’ll flicker, then flare up, ah, ah! All the world’s gonna stare up, Looking down you’ll never see me, Try the sky ’cause that’ll be me! I can make them cry, I can make them sigh, Someday they’ll clamor for my drama, Have you guessed yet, who’s the best yet? If you ain’t I’ll tell you one more time, You bet yer last dime, In all of the world so far, I am the greatest, greatest star!—Barbara Streisand

No autographs, please! My hand is tired from all this writing… Oh, wait, you just want directions? Yes, well you can catch the blue line down the escalator behind me. Oh, you’re welcome have a great day!

I’m at this strange place with writing. I really do love it. I’m challenged to find things to write about. I definitely have my own style. I enjoy meeting other writers/bloggers/talented people. And I could be content right here, in this place, nothing further. But I have to push myself. Develop personal goals. Because I find aimless very comfortable

One thing I never look at but I suppose I should consider, are my site stats. Generically I get the updates on the dashboard screen to let me know how many people visited the site, how people found my page, what blog posts they read, etc. I don’t pay much attention to those numbers because I don’t want my blog to be driven by statistics. I write life: the curveballs, the joys, the ever consistent downfalls. On my site, I have no idea how to write for clicks.

I’m also horrible with comments and commenters. If you read my blog, if you comment on a blog post, please know that I am vastly aware of your presence. I appreciate you for a multitude of reasons, mainly because your presence speaks to an interest in my writing. Let me tell you sincerely, how humbling that is—No Wyclef. I really do contemplate and enjoy the little messages left on my page.

But I don’t know how to respond to them.

Let me tell you a little story. I honestly thought I was really good at responding to comments, or writing comments on other blogs—you know general engagement, joining the community. There was a post written by my fav group of writers *cough* SBM *cough*, and when I tell you I had a visceral response, I cried at my desk. These are strangers. Then I commented, which my fault because I wasn’t disinterested. I hadn’t cultivated a healthy sheen of disregard. So the responses to my comment completely shut me down, removed back to first grade crying to my mom, blubbering how “people are so mean”.

A prodigy of Lauryn Hill, I was raised to give everything, feel it all, lose yourself in the emotion. I’m the epitome of a burn victim: unwilling to give myself over to the fire, easily caught by surprise at the sting, overly cautious in future adventures. So I’ve refrained from commenting or responding to comments, unless I’m sure I’ll be okay afterward. And since that day, I don’t think I’ve commented regularly on said blog. I read it every day, love it the same, but I ain’t in it. Not like I was.

My woman-of-the-world crush, JMJ, said that I should get back in the habit. Evolve a level of detachment that still responds to the public. In the blogging world today, you get noticed by what you read regularly, where you comment, what you say, and what you promote. So to get out there, you have to get.out.there.

Someday they’ll clamor for my drama, the embodiment of Lana Turner. Reach the point where I’ll have the greatest success of my career, then spend the rest of my life in semi-retirement. I’ll always be overshadowed by the Judy’s, the Rita’s, the Grace’s… but I’ll have carved my name in a star on the walk of fame. Those that love me will always love me, those that never knew me will have an appreciation for my talent but I’ll never truly touch their souls.

Please note that I’ve never overlooked or ignored your comment. I humbly value your clicks on my page. In the infamous words of May West, Come back and see me sometime (wink).


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. De
    Sep 19, 2012 @ 18:28:06

    Well. You’re an amazing writer. Heck, I see that just when we talk/text/gchat/email or whatever. It shows everywhere. So thank you for sharing your talent with us. *muah*


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